Ben Says.......

The spirit of human ingenuity is truly astonishing. Much in the same manner in which I invented the lightning rod and bifocals and Al Gore invented the Internet and "global warming", the IT staff of franklinmaine.net has just unveiled........

®

Yes, dear viewers, in keeping with our on-going efforts to bring you an environmentally responsible web site, you now have the opportunity to use ECO-click® as you browse through our web pages.

What is ECO-click®? It is special proprietary technology that changes the manner in which your personal computer visits links within this web site. To use ECO-click®, all you have to do is click on the "The Tugwassah Tattlah (gossip)" link on the Home Page. At that time, ECO-click® will become engaged for the duration of your browsing session at www.franklinmaine.net.

Then, every time you click on a link within this site, ECO-click® sends an encoded command to your computer to reduce the amount of energy it uses in opening the new page. In fact, ECO-click® can lessen your PC's consumption of electricity by as much as 50 per cent, compared to other computers!

Now, when you spend all those hours exploring the many fascinating features of this site, you can feel less guilty for wasting your valuable time and all that precious electricity. You'll sleep better at night, thanks to ECO-click®!

Franklinmaine.net is proud to be able to bring you this exciting new carbon footprint reducing feature to help you save our planet!

License Agreement
ECO-click® is the registered trademark of www.franklinmaine.net, The Tugwassah Tattlah, and The Shotgun Wedding News. No unauthorized use or reverse engineering of the software is permitted.
By engaging ECO-click®,  it is implied that visitors to this web site understand that the proprietary software utilized also has the capability to penetrate the firewall of  visitors' personal computers in order to collect such personal data as Social Security numbers, bank account numbers, credit card numbers, embarrassing personal correspondence, and hidden bookmarks to sites showing pictures of naked women. All such information collected will be used by the Webmaster of www.franklinmaine.net to further his own nefarious plans. Absolutely everything you have read above is total bullshit, except for Al Gore inventing "global warming"..